Typical causes of conflicts with superiors
Not every conflict with a manager arises from an open dispute. Often, it’s underlying tensions that develop over weeks or months. Typical triggers can be:
- Unclear communication or lack of feedback?
- Unrealistic expectations or too much pressure
- Different values or working styles
- Lack of appreciation or recognition
- Authoritarian leadership style with no room for participation
Often, such factors lead to frustration, demotivation, or even quiet quitting.
First steps: Creating inner clarity
Before you seek a conversation with your manager, it’s important to clarify your own perspective:
- What exactly is bothering you? Is it a specific behavior, a one-time event, or a persistent dynamic?
- How do you feel in the situation? Anger, disappointment, or helplessness are valid feelings – name them for yourself.
- What do you want to achieve? Clarity, change, understanding? Only those who know their goal can work towards it constructively.
Seeking a conversation – but how?
A conflict with the boss is tricky, no question. Nevertheless, silence is rarely the best solution. It is important to conduct a respectful and well-prepared conversation.
How to succeed in the introduction
- Choose a quiet moment – not in passing or under stress.
- Speak in I-messages: Instead of “You are constantly criticizing me”, rather “I have the impression that my work is often negatively evaluated without understanding why.”
- Stay objective and solution-oriented: The focus should not be on blaming, but on improvement.
- Listen actively: The perspective of your counterpart is also relevant – perhaps there are misunderstandings on both sides.
If the direct route is not enough: Use external support
Not every conflict can be resolved in a one-on-one conversation. If talks do not lead to progress or the relationship is severely strained, professional support can help – e.g. through coaching, supervision or mediation in the company.
Mediation creates a neutral space in which both sides are heard. The goal is to find a viable solution without anyone losing face.
Conclusion: Conflicts with superiors can be resolved – with courage and clarity
A conflict with the boss is stressful – but also an opportunity. An opportunity for better communication, for mutual understanding and for a sustainable change in cooperation. It is important that you do not remain in the victim role, but become active. Be clear, respectful and open to solutions.
And if you feel like you’re not getting anywhere: Get support. You don’t have to go the way alone.
